So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
