Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
