Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
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