Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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