don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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