I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
