I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
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We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
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Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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