she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
