if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
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we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
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No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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