Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize