i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
