Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
