saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
