i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
