I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
