im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Congratulations! We have a period
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
