Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
