end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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