Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
