their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
