yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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