his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
