she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
