there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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