i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
50% drunk capacity currently
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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