it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
