Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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