I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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