Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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