Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
