Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
