i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We just shotgunned beers for America
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
