Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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