Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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