He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
