I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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