Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
