glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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