Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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