I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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