sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
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People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
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Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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