Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
