i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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