I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
