Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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