Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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