Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
