i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
