Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
what the fuck happened to the tacos
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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