just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
either way he was missing a nipple.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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