you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
