"it" just moved
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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