I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
