You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
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There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
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Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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