he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
