you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
