She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
