i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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