these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
