my phone needs a breathalizer
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
