She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My dick has a subreddit
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
