just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
