thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
sex in a hospital.. check
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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