ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
