Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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