If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
