too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️