I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
