just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
