I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
